OK, I think I have the name thing squared away so now I can actually opine. Given that this is my first genuine content driven post I wanted to make certain that I tackled a subject of universal importance that would leave audiences awestruck with its profundity and generate an Obama-like following.
So I've settled on facial hair. Not just any facial hair mind you, but the dreaded goatee. Yes you Mr. Businessman on 45th Street this morning with your neatly trimmed va-jay-jay mouth. Do you think it makes you young? Hip? Devil-may-care? A nutty professor? No! It makes you look like a truck driver or worse, a Jets fan. Now don't get me wrong, I drove a dump truck (in Manhattan no less) for two years and left a trail of broken sideview mirrors and terrified pedestrians in my wake as evidence. I also applaud the Jets overwhelming victory at the expense of the hapless Rams yesterday. But why would you purposely try to look like an idiot? Irony? I don't think so.
Goatees had their time in the sun about fifteen years ago and even then they could go horribly wrong. In fact I almost grew one myself back in '94 but then I saw something like 1,000 of them in one day in the East Village and realized it was already too late. So look around you, who is still sporting a flavor saver? Is it you?